I’ve been implementing a fresh creative project. Lots of energy and enthusiasm being spent. A great deal of productive time making something new. Bouncing my ideas off of others within a coaching group. But each and every time I start a whole new journey of creating, I’ve found myself becoming angry.
How does this happen? What’s this anger about? What’s going on?
My mentor i were discussing this. She wondered aloud this thought: “It feels like the tender spots are where you are angry”… yeah. Very tender. The anger is telling me something.
Discovering that it is hard to maintain a project picking anger all over, I want to to find a way to function “through” or “around” the anger. So, I distract myself with painting, stories, dancing… something creative, but more mundane as well as a bit mindless. This creative energy loosens my mind to ensure that I could “trick” my anger into thinking I’m busy with things.
Once i do this I call it “spinning”. Spinning reminds me with the stories in the spinning wheel where I could outside, hurry up creating (like the wool on the wheel). This paves the way to metaphor and takes me away from my must “control” an undertaking.
Once i began drawing this picture… of an spinning wheel… I was thinking of “turning straw to gold”. I used to be reminded again in the story of Rumpelstilskin. You realize, normally the one… the millers daughter, the father says “she can spin straw into gold” towards the king… and the king would like to check out this… and when she cannot, she’s going to go to death… ? Then, an unusual little man appears. He tells her he can spin straw into gold… however it will go to an amount to her.
I came across the storyplot and focus several versions of it. It resonated with me at night. However, because i usually do, I could to logically “organize” the storyline. This caused me to become more frustrated, as I had not been seeing or feeling what this story was wanting to inform me.
So I went back to my “dream capture” work. Someone said the story like it were a dream I had created had. Then, Used to do these:
Listed out each of the characters
Listed the “key words” inside the story that resonated when camping
Re-read each word and wrote what that word meat to me in my unique circumstances
And after that… I began to note just what the story was telling me. Here’s what I stumbled upon
The miscroscopic man (Rumplestilskin)=anger/creative fire/naming
The miller’s daughter=rest/creativity/giving
Spnning wheel=creating/spinning/asking for help
The baby=creation (project, artwork… )
While each of these “characters” posseses an independent role, Each of the characters create one “psyche” for me. Many of us have of such qualities within us.
To make something, it will require much energy… and much rest can be needed. We must give of ourselves and request for help.
In the long run, a child comes into the world and we’ll not cease. It’s our “creation” and we are impressed by that which you are making. Also, what must be done to have there.
What did I learn?
Until this story resonates with me. Also, this story will repeat itself over and over as I carry on and create, rest, parents and finish an undertaking. Even though Rumpelstilskin stomps himself to the ground at the conclusion of the storyplot, that little man will likely be back… followed by time, I am going to know his name.
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